JOURNAL | Down

Down

Lately, things are just taking their toll on me. All the pressure and stress seem like my sanity is going to collapse soon. I always feel like everyday is a gloomy day even if I try to convince myself that things are going to turn out fine. I'm not really asking much and not even trying to ask for something grand. All I wanted to happen to was that I finish this damn thesis. The problem being is that the thesis just won't finish that easily. This is simply hell. My last year is simply hell. Only months away from graduation and I feel so weak. I want to go out. Escape even just for a short while. I want to forget that I am haunted by all these responsibilities. What hope is there for me?

JOURNAL | Stressed, as usual

Stressed, as usual

I don't know but things this semester seem to repeat itself. I am starting to feel that this mighht even be harsher than the previous one. Totally no sleep now for the past two weeks. No time for a decent meal. Plus I notice that I don't really earn anything. I am getting poorer by the day. I am getting older too. When I look at the mirror these days, all I see are the black circles- circles around my eyes. I feel dizzy now as I write this. The files in my laptop too are waiting to be transfered. The room remains to be a challenge as my room mate keep playing his loud music. I want to be out. I want to be left alone.

MOVIE REVIEW | TRANSFORMERS 2: Revenge of the Fallen

TRANSFORMERS 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Synopsis

In its second run, the movie now centers around (as the title imply) the revenge of the Decepticons after its failure to rule the Earth in Transformers 1. The twist this time, ancient Decepticons, older than Megatron and his allies, are introduced as they try to recapture the key to this machine that can harness energy at the expense of Solar System’s sun.

JOURNAL | Pikon - Cranky

Pikon - Cranky

I just realized that I really get too cranky when I don't get enough sleep. Lesson 1: Insufficient sleep results to decrease in tolerance Just in case I come back here again, get to read this page again, it is worth the time to remember how I easily flare up once I feel that people around me are not performing very well or are just plain too useless that my life gets really messed up because of their out of this world failing. Lesson 2: Saving, makes you go bankrupt Just opened my passbook today. Sheesh, finally after months and months of planning here it is now. I was just only disappointed about the passbook. It was such a pity to see such a passbook without a jacket.

JOURNAL | What to write?

What to write?

Peanuts. Two cups of coffee (and counting). Two donuts. One cup of noodles. One bread with egg. I feel vomiting now. The weather outside is truly depressing. Got wet when I rode the FX this afternoon. Thought of buying coffee and donuts because I like eating donuts on a rainy day. But I think the vitamins made me really groggy. I feel so sleepy and lethargic. My mind just can't focus. Or this could be the effect of last night's invasion. Kali people namely Dea, Dolly, Myra, Ay, and Tiger were in the house to sleep. There is a lambanog at home. I want to drink it. Get drunk and sleep. That's what I need to do now. Get a good night sleep. I need to focus seriously. I have so many things in mind. If I don't organize my self, then I'll be all fucked up. Sorry for the term. My eyes earlier this afternoon were so itchy. It's as if I'm going to have some sore eyes. Good thing it didn't happen. Back in the canteen with Ryan I heard some issues. First, Ay broke up with Isko. Second, likes Mico. Third, Mico and Levi together. Fourth, Benjie likes Levi. Fifth, Tiger courting Dolly. Love issues. So why shoud I care? I am so apathetic these days. Even the bulbs in our house has the same flickering feeling. Literally. Took a shower with lights out. Kinda afraid it might explode anytime. Had coffee after lunch. Still with Ryan. Talked about occasional dreams. What we'll do in the near future. He wanted to have a piggery. I wanted to be out of the country soon. This semester is really trying. Only four more subjects to go. I can do this of course. No doubt about it. I just need to focus. Focus. I feel so lost in my thoughts today.

JOURNAL | Ending Internship

Ending Internship

After a long hiatus... but actually it wasn't a hiatus but a forced disappearance. Due to my unexpected schedule at Citibank, my life suddenly revolved around my company. It seems that 24 hours is not enough anymore and weekends made me feel like it was the best days in my life.

CORPORATE | The End

The End

It seems like we've only started.
But now here we are at the end of the cross croads.
We don't have to wake up early in the morning anymore.
No taxis.
No elevator.
No corporate attire.
No shoes to scar my heel.
No glass doors.
No desk with tons of work.
MOST especially, no more supervisors.

I love this part of internship.
Perhaps the best one.
Wohooo!

JOURNAL | Branch visit

Branch visit

This is it.
Just the opposite of what I have expected.
Visiting the Citi branches today really gave me a headache.
Imagine, I felt like I was some kind of an outlaw under the suspicions of all the Citi employees I met in my visit. Damn them all from the driver to the installers to the guards. Oh dear, holding on to my dear life.

JOURNAL | I'm still a college scholar

I'm still a college scholar

In my university's parlance, being a college scholar meant being a dean's lister as normally called in other universities. I wasn't expecting this, since my target was to be a university scholar but still I am happy though my major subject gave me a really low grade which I think I don't deserve. It's just that there are simply people who are jappy putting people down. But as if I am gonna be affected by their jealous attitudes. I have reestablished my worth as a student and no insecured grade conscious selfish monkeys and bitches would ever make me feel bad again. They are just pathetic to pull people down so that they can come up. Very crabbish indeed, and I hope three more pairs of hands grow on them so they can just show off the world how much greedy they are. The long and short of this- I am very very pleased with my semester's turn of events.

JOURNAL | Trunks and Grudge

Trunks and Grudge

Today I bought a very cheap swimming trunks with a 50% discount. I am now gearing up for the summer and I just can't wait to head to the beach and enjoy the sun. I swear I am going to have so much fun no matter what happens. 

These past few days have been too tough for me add to that the people who have given me so much stress making me sin during the holy week. And speaking of the holy week, I won't be coming home this year as I used to do because of several reasons but primarily because of the weather; I just can't take the heat, and also the impractical cost of bus fare and its inconvenience. Imagine I have to endure the 5 hour drive and pray that my kidneys bear the long trip lest it explodes and I die. Fares nowadays aren't cheap anymore and going home twice in a month I think is capricious. At a time when global recession plagues our country, we just need to think of measures how to save and only by doing so can we make our life more, I don't know, maybe profitable. Well we can say that since it is really difficult to find money. Good thing I don't have to eat fire for me to survive here in the metro. 

Life is seriously tough and this coming Tuesday, oh heavens, I would be meeting the very people I detest. Oh I pray that I may be forgiven for this grudge I've sown in my heart. But you can't really blame me if I hate some people.